


I Love Myself

by starfleetinginterest



Category: Asagao Academy: Normal Boots Club
Genre: F/M, Not to be taken seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-12
Updated: 2016-06-12
Packaged: 2018-07-14 14:44:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7176167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starfleetinginterest/pseuds/starfleetinginterest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A boy, a cloning machine, a girl, and a love story for the ages.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Love Myself

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a post by asagaoexe and asagao-trash over on Tumblr.  
> http://asagaoexe.tumblr.com/post/145778306090/asagaostrikers-asagao-trash-asagaoexe

“Why _me_?” Josh whined, folding his arms and eyeing the curious machine all ten Normal Boots Club members were assembled around. Satch had promised them a breakthrough, a veritable scientific miracle – if his calculations were correct.

“You drew the short straw, man,” Nick reminded him.

“How does this thing work, exactly?” Jirard asked, concerned eyes flickering between Josh and the machine.

Satch adjusted his glasses. “Science,” he replied.

“But this is _human cloning_ ,” Hana said anxiously, “It could be really dangerous!” 

Satch smiled reassuringly and gestured to a small pile of insects on his desk. “I already tested it out on some flies.”

“Those flies are all dead,” PBG pointed out.

“Flies don’t live very long.”

“But –”

“ _Fine_ ,” Josh interrupted, resigning himself, “But if I die, you know my wishes.” 

Paul and Nick nodded solemnly. “Set everything on fire and shoot it into space,” they said in unison. With a nod to his best friends, Josh stepped into the right chamber of the contraption and Satch took his place at the control panel in the center.

“All I have to do is calibrate it to human DNA…” Satch mumbled to himself while punching away at the touchscreen, “And it’ll take a small blood sample.” Josh promptly howled from inside the machine. “Come on, it was just a little prick!”

“ _You’re_ a little prick!” Josh growled back.

Hana couldn’t take it. “You have to stop this!” she cried. But the cloning had already begun, according to the whirring sounds that filled the cramped dorm room.

All they could do was wait.

Eventually, after what felt like an age, the whirring ceased, leaving only a thick, tense silence. Fortunately, it did not last long, as Josh’s voice came from inside the chamber: “So is this thing done?” The rest of the group breathed a collective sigh of relief.

“Just about,” Satch said, shaking with anticipation. He crossed over to the chamber Josh was in, waited for a click, and slid the door open. Once Nick and Paul helped him out, a soft knock sounded from the left side of the machine. All eyes flew to the chamber door, and Satch immediately moved to let whatever was waiting out.

“Holy shit,” Josh breathed, suddenly realizing what this – all of this – meant. “It’s –” Nobody was prepared for what they found when the door slid open, and nine voices echoed the same word.

“ _Joshualina?_ ”

Satch frowned. “But… but everything was right. What happened?”

“Who cares?” Josh cried, bounding up to Joshualina and taking her hands in his. “She’s perfect!” 

Joshualina giggled. “You’re not so bad yourself.”

Josh’s eyes glittered. “I’ve been waiting for you my whole life!” The pair locked eyes and their faces flushed pink. As the others looked awkwardly on, the stars and planets seemed to align just for the two of them. They gazed at one another for a long moment, and though not a word was spoken, an understanding had been reached, as they both broke into the same mischievous grin and raced out of the dorm hand in hand.

The rest of the club stared at the open door in stunned silence, leaving Jared to voice the one thing they were probably all thinking: “So is that incest, or some kind of hyper evolved form of masturbation?”

_Welcome to the future._


End file.
